Jokes About Gambling

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Funny Gambling Jokes Joke; Funny Gambling Jokes One-liners; The Best Poker Jokes and Funny Poker Quotes Poker Jokes and Quotes assembled by NoLuckNeeded.com. Scroll to the bottom of the page for funny poker picture jokes and memes. Please reply to this post if you have a joke that should be added. If you like gambling jokes, check out. Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page. 1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds.

Casino & gambling riddles

Solving riddles can be as rewarding as a winning hand of blackjack with the basic strategy. We've decided to take a look at some of the most common riddles about gambling and casinos and detail the answers below. See if you can figure them out before reading the answers – then you can take them to the tables yourself and distract your fellow players as they try to crack them. Or check out the best online casinos for Australians.

The casino players

Riddle: There are four men who sit at a casino all night long and play until the crack of dawn. They are there for money instead of fun with a separate score for every one.

When it is time to square the accounts, they each make fair amounts. No one lost, and all gain – can you you explain?

Answer: Each man is a musician for the casino's entertainment. Gsn casino com.

A mysterious gambling association

Riddle: A large group, each with a different face – regularly in smaller groups of four with identity as your case.

The first group will bring a desire of wealth – to steal though is tough and requires stealth.

Jokes

The second group distract you and lead your mind astray, but don't let this happen or your life will pay.

The third group can be utilised to take a life, without even using a gun or a knife.

The final group can be used to hide a man who just happened to have died.

Now if you were paying attention, what is this mysterious association we mentioned?

Answer: A pack of cards – each clue describes the four suits of a deck.

  • First group – Diamonds, as they make you wealthy but are very hard to steal
  • Second group – Hearts, as they can lead you astray
  • Third group – Clubs, these are weapons which can be used to kill people
  • Fourth group – Spades, which can be used to cover up a murder by burying a body

Heads or tails

Riddle: A gambler has three coins in his hand – the first is a regular coin, the second has two heads, and the third has two tails. The gambler picks a coin at random, flips it, and the result is heads.

What is the likelihood the other side is tails?

Answer: Since there are three heads and only one has a tails on the other side the likelihood is one in three – more of a mathematical problem than a riddle but fun to crack nevertheless.

First to gamble with dice

Riddle: Who were the first people to play with a pair or dice?

Solution: Adam and Eve in Pairadice.

A BlackJack

Riddle: A man visited a local land-based casino and on his first hand he managed to get a blackjack, while the next hand he lost. He then got another hand with a blackjack and the next hand he lost again. He ended up leaving the casino having lost every single hand and with no winnings at all – how is this possible?

Answer: The first hand featured a Jack of Spades and his third hand featured a Jack of Spades, both of which are black Jacks.

A classic riddle for a classic casino game

Riddle:

The game is nice if you see pictures thrice. It bears fruit of trees, sometimes in threes. It is just an arms length in front of you, what is the game?

Answer: A pokies machine.

A simple riddle but a risky wager

Riddle: What does this say? Or nothing. Or nothing

Answer: Double or nothing.

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>Poker face

Riddle: What is the weakest hand in a game of Texas Hold'em, which you can have but still end on the river with a guarantee of victory?

Answer: Three Queens. For example, if you hold a Queen of Hearts and a Queen of Diamonds, and the board is showing Queen of Diamonds, Jack of Diamonds, seven of Clubs, four of Clubs, and two of Hearts, you can't be beat. A straight or flush isn't possible and no rank is higher than your Queens to allow someone to hold a better three of a kind.

The identical pokies

Riddle: A man owns a small casino with 50 pokies, each identical in appearance and the way they function. They all have the same return to player percentage. However, when the man goes to check the pokies at the end of the day there's one machine which has 25% more in winnings than the others. What is different about this pokie compared to the others?

Answer: Nothing – it ultimately comes down to the human factor and that more people must be playing it and losing.

Following on from our recent posts about the fun of having a crack at winning big playing casino games, bingo and poker online we have a few classic one liners for you. They cover all topics such as poker, slots and other casino games like blackjack.

To complement this blog post here is a cheesy stock image of the topic :p We hope you like it.

Read on below for the goodies.

Short Casino Jokes

What is the difference between praying in a church and praying in a casino? In a casino, you really do mean it.

How do you get a sweet little old lady to shout the word f**k? Get another sweet little old lady to yell the word bingo!

Why don't they allow gambling in the Africa continent? Because of all the cheetahs.

How is a casino like a woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

Where's the only place in the world you are guaranteed to get screwed? Vegas baby!

What is the difference between a professional poker player and a dog? In about 10 years, the dog will quit whining.

Gambling Jokes With Pics

What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies? Betty!

Jokes About Gambling Problems

I walked around the casino last night with a pocket full of chips. Even now I am still trying to get the smell of vinegar out of my trousers.

How do you leave Vegas with 1 millions dollars? Go there with 2 millions.

Jokes About Gambling

Thanks.
Credit for the image at the top of the post goes to SXC.hu and sgman. Used under royalty free license.





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